Where's jerry?

Today when my copy of the "New Testament" still hadn't arrived I got in touch with Cofe who was very aplogetic and was going to drop a new copy around straight away, he just needed to confirm where I live..

Paul B
9 Holberry....what the f*ck?

Well it turns out that somehow Paypal has managed to authorise a card payment from me using the wrong address, an old one but still my card hasn't been reg'd there for quite some time. Now its not as if I typed the address into the delivery field here but I guess I have to accept that its my cock up and try my best to sort it out.
This afternoon I wandered up to try and get it. Knocking on the door of my former grotty student house got me no answer. All of the curtains were drawn. After 5 mins I walked off to the corner shop to purchase a pen and leave a note. At this point I noticed the curtains twitching so I marched back and had another bang on the door. 5 mins later a small indian women opened the door about 3mm. I tried to explain the issue but it wasn't going too well until she recognized the word "book", at that time she repeated "book, book" at me amongst a lot of garbage which I managed to extract the phrases "my son", "at work", "back at 11" not necessarily in that order. So, the book came. Not addressed to them but nevertheless the wide reaching inspiration that is jerry obviously captivated her son who is now enjoying a signed copy at my expense whilst bored at work.
I'll be going back at 11, something tells me that its not going to be straightforward.

Friday the 13th

So where was I?

ah... last post I was infatuated with my new Beastmaker (BM from now on) and I still am. I think since last posting I've had one board session with Dan and Dense, and a fingerboard session with Ned and Dense. The former went very well, I came stupidly close to doing half (one side) of a project we set only the session before but being a dunce I forgot where I needed my feet for the end. The problem involves yarding off a small Bleaustone hold that was initially designed to be a keyring. Its far from kind to your tips hence you don't get many goes at all. The fingerboard session was a bit poor. I was tired, Dense kept making me laugh and it was all a bit much like hard work. About 45 mins of decent exercises were managed but not as much as I'd hoped especially as that included warming up.

The BM boys have left for Font so no more board sessions for me.

As the weekend approached Nat kept pointing out that the forecast looked amazing. After seeing Bonjoy pointing out how lazy everybody is on UKB I decided not to go to any of my usual bouldering spots and instead head to Rowtor having only been once.
On arrival it was cold, a little damp and very green. Not the best choice then? Various problems were attempted by myself, I ticked a few but nothing earth shattering before Nat got involved with Raw power the 7a+ ish Mantel thing. She did extremely well narrowly missing out on ticking it when her foot popped at the last second. She'd used up all of her energy by that point and the next go was poor. A little frustrated she admitted defeat.
I went down to Short Seans Reachy Roof, which frankly is a poor problem. A quick tussle and some awkward foot locking got me out to the lip and I rumbled to the end. Something new to tick I guess but I doubt I'll try it again.
Nat got stuck into the 6b next to it and again was looking good until she ran out of power again.



The reason I wanted to head to Rowtor was to try Andy Harris' new thing, it was dirty and the hold IS DIRTY. It looks worth going back for but I'll let someone more knowledgeable pick when conditions will be suitable.
Today with snow forecast we thought we had a cunning plan. Head West and miss the snow. A delayed start meant we arrived at Gib Tor with just enough time to watch the sun disappear and the snow/hail to start. Nat didn't bother doing a lot as she was just simply too cold. I had to do stuff as I managed to forget my down for the first time ever. I ran around ticking all of the classics which somehow drew blood from my palm (again, what's with that?) before retreating to the car. The verdict; an OK crag but not great. The fin would be an uber classic without the scrittle, the landing makes it intimidating which is fantastic!
We stopped at the tor on the way back past, it looked bare without the foliage and a lot of things were damp. I was about to climb but then the snow re-appeared and I couldn't stomach getting cold again.
Back in Sheffield Dylan called to let me know he was at the workshop. I needed to build a backing board for the BM in order to mount it. A large amount of time was spent, cutting, sanding, checking, drilling and countersinking the backing board. Back at home four large coach bolts were drilled through the plasterboard. Six plasterboard fixings were also placed at strategic points. The plan was to have four large bolts with large washers to spread the load throughout the plasterboard. The board itself was to be screwed through the backing board and into the relevant fixings. So that's what I did. It seemed solid but looked SHITE and whilst mounting it I was fairly certain that the plasterboard fixings alone would hold me and the board securely to the wall and transmit the load through the door frame. So... I took it down and mounted it in a more simple, less messy fashion and it is perfect. So, I wasted the afternoon making a board, making a mess and then filling in four massive holes. Oh well.

Natalie was very jumpy today, it was the 1st of Feb and to me that's like Friday the 13th on heat so its not really surprising. 2 years ago I messed up my leg, 1 year ago an idiot in an Alfa tried his best to mess the rest of me up as well as a fair portion of Nat. Today we were driving across the Peak, with snow forecast and boy was she nervous. I was banned from overtaking, going too fast or generally playing with the car. Everything went swimmingly until we got to the top of Froggat bank on the way home. You know the bend just after the parking (or before if you're coming up the hill)? The bend that curves and curves? Well, as we approached this uphill a cyclist came into view in the opposite direction followed shortly after by a bright orange overtaking gritter, on my side of the road. A massive "Oh Shit" moment, harsh braking and a lucky escape for a cyclist left both of us cursing loudly. Funnily enough she wasn't too happy later on when I was using a jigsaw with the safety guard removed...

However, I survived the day. Hurrah!

Got wood?

'cos I do!





worth the wait I'd say...

Now, all that remains is to mount it somehow on my paper thin walls/doorframe and to work my back three into submission!

PSYCH! From Spain:

Beasted, Mossatrocity...

I'm not sure if i'll get chance to write a detailed blog account for the weekend so here it is in piccies. On arrival Richdraws crushed to the top of Mossatrocity. I didn't get on too well with it, by my 3rd go I had two bleeding tips and 3 flappers!
A Bonjoy sequence was shown to me by Mawson which made the start a lot less spanned but as you can see its still stretched! Much adjusting when stretched out like this leads to a lot of pain!

Mossatrocity, 7C Grindleford.

Less spanned sequence for the start of Mossatrocity, 7C Grindleford.

Kind to the skin? I think NOT!

They look worse today, a lot worse. My best effort ended with one move to go (twice). I still haven't done this move which is a little frustrating as if it was done in overlapping halves I would be psyched to get back to it. As it is my hands aren't so keen.

View from the Plantation on arrival (playing with my new camera!)

Nat by the band landing trav. Minutes before falling down the hole.

Nats foot popped on the starting hold and she slid down between the boulders completely, very funny to watch but the look on her face afterwards told me my laughing wasn't helpful.

Mark of the BEAST!

Session one (The Board):

After going out on Tues I didn't feel completely worked. As I was on the way to the Foundry, Ned called offering for me to join them in an hour on the beastly board. I haven't previously had the chance to train on the board. One time I was meant to be training and Natalie decided to take all of my boots etc. to the wall with her. Instead I watched and the board looked like it would spank me. Not only have I NOT trained on steep stuff for quite some time, lots of the holds looked pockety or even worse, drags. Back on track...
I warmed up at the Foundry briefly with Dr Pinch (sorry Ed I forgot to extend the invite) before stomping up to Crookes for my first beastly session. Tony, Ned and Dan were all there when I arrived and I warmed up by pulling on the frame a few times before getting stuck in. Warm-ups went fine and the next few problems were the same. I don't really know what to say as I don't know the names of the problems I tried and the grades are all on a different weird scale, what I DO know is that I was climbing well. I felt strong given my lack of board training but I was channel surfing. Lots of things were tried, some good efforts, some good flash efforts etc. but then I moved on to the next problem. This carried on until I felt tired.

Session two (Cellar):

I've never bothered with deadhangs. My fingers aren't what you'd call weak and its never really entered my head until recently when I noticed the grave imbalance between my fully crimped position and open handed. I've tried to address this a few times but I've managed to injure myself severely and since then it was never really high up on my to do list. However, I am still keen to sort this out.
I saw Dan and Neds fingerboard about 8 months ago I guess, and was instantly impressed. Being wooden its kind to the skin and the pocketed design forces crimp meisters like myself to hold things differently. Who better then to give me my first deadhanging masterclass then than the makers of this board?
The house of power probably contains the highest density of fingerboards i've ever seen. They're all in there as well as an array of discarded boards, system tiles, pinching bars, pulleys and door knobs screwed into the ceiling joists.
Dan and I chatted a lot and as he did his session. During this we worked out what I could do, what I couldn't and more importantly what I NEED to train.

Open i'm dreadfully weak.
Slopers I'm ok on.
Mid two I'm ok on.
Back two and front two I'm cr*p on.
Mono's are ok on my middle finger but nowhere else.
Lastly, my fully crimped is overly strong.

So much so that I managed to do a one armer on the smallest crimps on the board.
In true beastmaker style I thought I'd take the p*ss and do a breakdown of my hand:



The problem is I'm not so good with "the Gimp 2.0" and you can barely read the percentages. (5% 15% 20% 25% 35%)

I couldn't get my hand to stay crimped without engaging my thumb which is strange and leads me to believe that it contributes a lot.

Anyway, this isn't a particularly good blog post. I'm just glad I didn't get completely spanked and I'm looking forward to my next board session.

If the above means nothing to you visit:
http://www.beastmaker.co.uk/

and use:
http://www.beastmaker.co.uk/grips.JPG

Lip of Fools, E7 6c

a
You may have noticed references to Jon "setting up ropes" or a one liner at the end of my latest posts showing what Jon did for the day. The reason for the vagueness of my posts and their brevity is due to one thing; Jon had a project. A project that he kindly invited me to try with him a little over a week ago. Since then my vagueness was necessary to keep all of you wads away from the said line, stopping you from stealing an awesome FA and my chances of being number 2!
I'd never been to Eastwood before but was keen to tag along for the traverse. Jon spent a while rigging a top rope whilst I puntered around and quickly got the trav ticked. After this we set about the route, it was cold however Jon was throwing good links. I however, wasn't. I would pull on, get half way along, fall off, pull on and do the remainder of the route. The issue I was having was that although my halves overlapped they didn't correspond. Namely, I was taking one hold with the wrong hand. Idiot.
The next time we went on it the temperature was low. Far too low to warm up, we both had a little play but it was clear that it wasn't going to happen. Early on in last week we returned as a three, Jon, Pritch and Myself. As pritch got stuck into Westwood (and got psyched, and TBH was looking fairly good) Jon again went and rigged stuff. Now this day was a strange one. Jon looked great on a top rope, throwing the best link I'd seen. Quickly after this he went for a redpoint and looked really solid until the last move, a lock to a pocket. Ben and I screamed for him to slap but cold fingers got the better of him and he took the fall. His next few RP's were similar, although one ended fairly early due to his foot popping. Every go he looked smooth and every go I thought it was in the bag but for some unknown reason it wasn't. I think at this point Jon noticed that I was cold. Frozen in fact as I hadn't climbed for a long time. We chatted for a bit and he was keen for me to have a go and "take the ride". It was agreed that I wouldn't take the gear to protect the top section, so I didn't. Annoyingly (having never linked the route) I cruised through the hard lip traverse and locked up to the pocket comfortably. A few more moves up and then I turned to Jon, who had a big grin on his face and was shouting for me to jump. I reversed as far as I could and took a comfortable if airy fall.


Back on the ground I felt elated as Jon set up for another RP. This time I thought! Again he looked smooth and fully composed on the traverse but fatigue had set in (trying it earlier in bad conditions was a mistake in retrospect). He span off the end of the traverse. F*ck!
Pritch was there with his lens so I suggested we all get some piccies whilst we had the option. Jon went again and, like before I thought he had it. However, he was clearly tiring and dropped off exhausted.
My turn for photos and I basically repeated my previous effort. This time reversing the moves back down to the lip before jumping off. I left the crag feeling happy for myself but wishing Jon had got his line in the bag.
At the weekend whilst I was busy with a family thing (Gran's 80th!) I recieved a text. Second RP of the day on Saturday for Jon, the top moves turned out to not be as trivial as he remembered and thus he'd spent around 20 mins avoiding committing to the final move. Great effort and a fine line!
Now, I felt edgey, nervous if truth be told that somebody else would cruise up it shortly after. Monday the weather was poor and I was busy and Tues Jon was busy until midday. I was reluctant to go to Eastwood just for the afternoon in case I had a 'mare of a time repeating my previous form so Emergency Belay Bod (My Dad!) was rung. Revelling in the chance to try and convert me to liking his new ish car he agreed.
On his arrival the weather looked dodgy. Very dodgy. On the drive to the crag it looked bad. Wet roads, no wind and frost on anything in the shade. On arrival at the crag things perked up; the finishing holds on the trav were perfect and so too was the route.
This time it was my turn to rig everything and I took my time as its been quite a while since I placed gear and a lot longer since I fell on self-placed gear! Jon rang, james rang etc. and all I could say was "I'm about to have a go"...
The climbing?


Well that went without incident. I even paused mid crux to give instructions to my dad on what to do with the ropes. On arrival at the pocket my fingers were frozen but the sanctity of a big jug soon brought them back to life for a relatively trivial finish.

Thanks to Jon for putting me on this route and helping to push me.

For the full sequence take a look at the pics below. However, be warned, my sequence is unlikely to be the easiest/best/most sensible, and it will blow your onsight! I think the route can probably be high balled by somebody feeling brave and having all of the beta although the lock is big and might cause an uncontrollable fall. The other option is to place a ball nut on the traverse but to do this you need to climb half of it, reverse, then do it correctly. The third option? I'll leave that in Jon's concept head.


Sequence shots:
(thanks to Ben Pritch for the photos)



I don't have any photos of Bonjoy as my iPOD was full but there are some on Facebook.

After standing under Fat Slapper with a "Wowed" look on my face we retreated to Sheffield via some twisty roads. The rest of the afternoon was spent watching L'etranger with Dad and then by my first session on the Varian/Ned board, it went well! But thats a whole other blog post!

A grand day out

The other day was great, good company, good climbing and for a nice change good form!

I was happy and thus, stopped at Waitrose to take full advantage of their beer selection on the way home:



I think before Christmas I seriously worried Dr Pinch with a booze conversation...

I feel fairly psyched towards having a look at Fat Slapper sometime with Jon and an inspiring DMM poster of Ben Bransby high up on Cornelius (spotted by the one and only unclesomebody) has also caught my attention, although TBH my leg mightn't like that fall. God knows if i'll actually get around to either of these routes as my attention is easily swayed.



Today the weather looked poor so I stayed in. I spent the whole day wishing I'd gone out. I didn't get a lot done that was worthwhile so I might as well have chanced it. Tomorrow I hope the weather picks up a little because lets face it, I'm not going to get a lot done until I get out again. The psych is killing me...well, killing my work.

I happened to be at the Works this evening (more volumes have been added to volumes!) picking up some kit from James. It was "clinic" night so Rick had a quick look over my hand, he seems to think its not the joint and that i've strained one of the small muscles in that region of the hand. Vigorous massage to the area for 3-5 minutes daily for about a week should see an improvement he reckons. After he'd done so the pain went away completely for a good few hours.